I want to be your last.. but I don't know who you are..

I found this amazing video on youtube today. It was just sitting there... In front of me.. waiting for me to hit 'play'.. I watched it and was amazed at how it described so many of the types of relationships I have experienced.. and that people experience throughout their lives.. Sometimes we love somebody we've never met.. Sometimes we fall in love with our best friends.. Sometimes we love somebody from afar.. Unrequited, Unrecognized, Sometimes we have our heart shattered by somebody we end up in a relationship with.. and sometimes when we're in a relationship... we become overcome with insecurity and jealousy wanting to be the most important person to the one we are with BUT what if they don't love us as much as they once loved "that guy/girl"... - I randomly found this video that sums up all of that and more.. Fantastic cinematography and an amazing 8 minute short film.. RECOMMEND! This is so beautiful to me because it really captures everything. The peer you thought you loved in school but he didn't know your name.. The guy friend you had feelings for but when he was single.. you weren't.. I love the term "Nostalgic Love" The right guy/girl at the wrong time.. and the relationships that are for but a season.. Even if just a weekend.. This embodies everything it's so amazing.. I love the cinematography also.

Love to hide the pain..

Love.. the one thing we can't command.. we can't acquire into our life.. Today is 3 years since my mother died.. I feel a massive void and needed to see somebody tonight.. Needed just one of my friends to give me the time of day. My bible study leader ended up visiting and praying with me.. THe loss of my mother is another thing that rmeinds me that i'm single.. as I have no family now. I'm praying every day that God will bring the right man.. the elusive 'one' into my life.. I don't want to wait much longer..... I just want that person who sparks love and cuddles...

Love, Lovesongs, and the feelings in between.

Watching The Office season 5 and Pam heard from her dad that Jim told him how he feels about Pam. How much he loves her. How he feels when she walks in a room. How he's constantly 100% sure that she's the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with. I never want to be with somebody that doesn't feel that strongly about me.. I know that's the way love is supposed to be. I realize The Office is a tv show, however the writers are very real.. and the writers are writing based on their own understanding of how they believe love is supposed to be.. and how they know the viewer believes love is supposed to be. It makes me think that I know exactly what I want but wonder if it will actually occur for me. I want to believe so much taht it will.. but I don't know if it's something God puts togehter, or if it's just random, I don't know what it is! It's been 8 dry months with no interest in meeting anyone.